I got the dreaded letter today. I knew it was coming, but didn't want to believe it. I was hoping it would be proponed for another few months if not years or decades. But it arrived today. My hands trembled as I stuck a finger behind the envelope flap and ripped it open. It’s now official. As of next week, I’ll be an Old Fart. And the letter invited me to partake in all the benefits such status has to offer, a bimonthly magazine “packed with fascinating features on health & fitness, food, work, money, travel and more.” I can save while traveling with other Old Farts, And if I decide to take them up on the offer, I’ll help the fight to strengthen social security (I may even see some of it). I can even have my own hassle-free, no-fee Old Fart Credit Card (I suppose that means I’ll have to pay in cash if I’m to have any thought of picking up younger women). I can even get Old Fart’s insurance or supplemental insurance. I’ll be eligible for it all next week. Yes, happy days may be here once again.
Now can anybody tell me how AARP, a private organization, knows all this info about me and sends me this registration packet a week before my jubilee birthday? This is even more mind-boggling because our government’s selective service has been sending harassing mail to the house for an exchange student that was here two years ago. They’re demanding that he register for the non-existent draft. Of course, he is a she, and she is in Korea, but since she’s got a Korean name, I suppose they can be forgiven for that part of the confusion. But they haven’t learned the truth because they send a return envelope that requires a stamp and I’m cheap. AARP has a self-addressed/stamped envelope for my convenience. I just have to send them $12.50 and I’m officially an Old Fart (or will be officially one come next week, I’m guarantee admission as long as I’m beyond the 5-0 mark).
FYI: Looks like Blogger is going to have a down time for us old bloggers (those of us who are rebelling against the beta-blogger movement) tomorrow morning, so if you're not reading this tomorrow morning, you'll know why!