Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Honest Carp

Lisa, the Butterfly Farmer, recently tagged me to complete the meme “Honest Scrap.” I could think of a few other names for this meme: “Honest crap,” “Murf’s fodder,” “Mother Hen’s peckings,” "TC's BS" and “Am I really mentally sane?” I don’t do all the things I’m tagged to do, but occasionally feel obliged to respond and it does . So, here are the rules:

"The honorees are to: a) first list 10 honest things about yourself - and make it interesting, even if you have to dig deep! b) pass the award on to 7 bloggers that you feel embody the spirit of the honest Scrap."

1. When I was a child, my brother and I shared a room and slept in bunk beds. I always slept on top and told my brother that I would be safe if we had a tidal wave or a volcano would mysteriously appear and send out a lava flow. My brother always said he was safer to sleep on the bottom, in case of tornadoes and earthquakes. The real reason I was more than happy to sleep on top was because I was afraid he might pee in bed.

2. The reason my handwriting is so bad is that I spent three years in elementary school writing sentences.

3. I know the teachers never read my sentences, because I would often replace the sentence I was assigned (something like, “I’ll be a good boy and stay in my desk) with something like “I hate Miss Freeman and hope she’s kidnapped by pirates.”

4. As a kid, I had a thing for pirates; perhaps this comes from living along the Carolina coast and having seen the movie “Blackbeard’s Ghost” too many times at the drive-in.

5. In the 6th grade, I signed my father’s name to a test that we had to take home and have one of our parents sign. When picking up the “signed tests,” the teacher stood behind my desk for at least an hour, examining the signature. She never said anything, but it was the last time I forged my father’s name in elementary school.

6. Obviously, I didn’t do very well on that test.

7. In high school, I once again took to writing my own excuses for coming late or being let out early from school.

8. When writing my own excuses, I signed them with my first and last name. The way I saw it, I had to get some benefit from sharing my father’s first and last name.

9. I don’t know why parents called their children by their middle name. It was always a problem, except for when I was in high school and needed an excuse.

10. I have been known to tie a tie while driving. It seems to be the only place I can tie one without having to redo it several times. This also means that I occasionally wear a tie.

Okay, I know these are lame… But I ain’t ever claimed to be Abe Lincoln! Besides, it was an exercise of the mind to think up things that are both honest and that I’d be willing to share in a public forum. I’m going to skip the part about tagging seven of you folks, but I invite all who are so inclined or have a streak of masochism to participate.


  1. ha ha ha. Not lame at all! These are funny. It didn't occur to me that we could be funny and not reveal a bunch of stuff that we kept hoping would soon be in the archives because you know very few people ever go to the archives!

    It's also funny you called it Honest Crap... that's what kept going through my head too.

    I hope you're still the same person you were as a little boy... there is nothing cuter than a grown man who can be in touch with the inner little boy once in a while.

  2. This is funny and I got a good laugh out of it. Someone tagged me for this too but I have yet to do it. Anyway my honesty wouldn't be so funny... it would probably be scary instead! :o

  3. #3 is my favorite! lol

    I didn't realize you were so mischievous. :)

  4. If I am ever in a position where I have to share a bunk bed with someone, I'm sleeping on top, tornados and hurricanes be damned!

  5. Lisa, I'm not the same little boy, back then I could grow hair on my head and not my chin, now it's the other way around.

    Mother Hen, go ahead, give us a scare!

    Scarlet, I did get into trouble a bit as a student...

    Ed, I always wondered what it'd be like to wake up looking at the sky after the tornado sucked off the roof.

  6. It can't be fodder for Murf: she gave up picking on you for the year! :)

  7. I may do this at some point :) I don't want to be driving when you tie your tie though :(

  8. Shoot. I had a great comment too before you reminded me. Thanks, TC. Now I'm in physical pain. :-)

  9. TC, I need to amend possible names for this post to include TC's BS. :)

    Miss Night, I can steer with my knees.

    Murf, Isn't it good that TC is keeping you straight...

  10. I just need to find the loophole. There's always a loophole.

  11. Wow. I think I could do ten just about grade school. Actually, I could probably do ten just about Miss Aldridge...

    Oh, sorry. So I guess #4 explains your love for the Pittsburgh Pirates.

  12. Karen, thanks.

    Murf, I'm sure you'll find a loophole

    Bone, that and as a kid, Roberto Clemente was hot, and then I spent three years in graduate school in Pgh. I hope you write about Miss Aldridge, sounds like she might have been Miss Freeman's cousin.

  13. Thanks, for the millionth time, for some honest, funny writing!

  14. Now I understand why my older brother always took the top bunk...In case Niagara over ran the shores he'd be high and dry.

  15. I'm caving in on the second of my 15 "hopes for 2009" because I can't stand it.

    I think you should redo this and answer it as if you were older than 18. You went younger and that's a cop out. :-)

    *sigh* I feel so much better now. I don't really think that counts as picking on you though but it definitely isn't fawning.

  16. I'm still in the middle of one meme! Thanks for your visit. I do agree: Bush is the bigger idiot than Edwards, but I've been calling Bush an idiot for 8 years!

  17. I was always jealous of those with bunk beds! And they were not lame, they were cute.