Scientists have declared that Pluto is no longer a planet. This comes as no surprise to thousands of school children worldwide who have maintained all along that Pluto is a dog and splits his time between Disneyworld in Florida and Disneyland in California. This reduces the number of planets in our neighborhood to eight. Some scientists, especially those teaching school, lobbied to drop the number to seven. Seven objects are more easily remembered than eight, hence the seven digits in a phone number. But they were overrule when no agreement on which of the remaining planets should get the boot. One scientists was overheard quipping, just give us time and we'll destroy earth and then they'll only be seven planets left.
Please remember to say that you heard it here first.
-Nevada Jack reporting