Talk Less, Say More (a book review)

Connie Dieken, Talk Less, Say More 3 Habits to Influence Others and Make Things Happen (Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley and Sons, 2009), 168 pages.

I’m sure my staff gets tired of hearing my mantra that when it comes to writing, less is often more. No one reads long memos. Press releases and newsletter articles that are more than a few hundred words are, more often than not, ignored. When you have something to say to me, tell me; get to the point. Long stories are best shared over a cup of coffee or a pint of beer. There is no need for me to follow you down the rabbit’s trail when you can just tell me where the bunny is. That said, I was excited when I picked up this simple little book. Not only did I find myself wanting to have others read it, I also found that I learned there were a few areas that I needed to sharpen my skills.

Connie Dieken, a former television news anchor, is now a communication coach and the founder and president of onPoint Communication. In this book, she uses the “3 C’s” of communication: “connect, convey and convince.” The three C’s feeds into one of her points, the “mind craves information in multiples of threes.” (83) Dieken explains how “triplets” are deep-rooted within our psyche, making it an efficient way to dispense information and one that she follows throughout the book.

Connecting is the first C and one that has become harder in our current age of information overload. Today, when there is so much information around us, we must sharpen our message in order to insure we connect with those we want to hear us. We begin this by focusing on the needs of those listening, for only by doing so will they tune us in long enough to hear us out. With so much information around us, the power is no longer with the one who has the information but the one receiving it. As she points out, it’s as if the listener has the remote control in his or her hands. (13) Much of this section of the book centers on face-to-face communication where we must learn the “habits” of being a good connector. Such habits include focusing on the other, getting straight to the point, using an appropriate medium of communication, and understanding how the recipient is responding to your message.

Conveying skills involves getting our message across clearly. Because of information overload, we now ignore the vast majority of information available. (66) This means the communicator has to be more aware of how his or her message comes across to others and develop strategies to insure that it’s heard. Crafting such messages include understanding how the eyes are more powerful than the ears. Yet, one must use visuals successfully. She is critical of the way many use powerpoint and argues for a simpler approach, one that highlights the point being made or provides a contrast to drive the point home. She also speaks of the important of the newer forms of social media (Facebook, etc) and how such tools can sharpen one’s message, while providing warnings of how they can be misused. In this section, she develops the importance of threes in presentations and also discusses how one can use stories to hold the attention of the listener. She even provides tools to help develop and use stories to convey important information about the groups and organizations we represent.

Convince is the final “C,” the one that makes the sale. She speaks of how this is not manipulation, for such “success is short-lived.” (110) The successful communicator seeks commitment, not compliance. Keys to gaining commitment include being seen as sincere and decisive, transferring ownership of the ideas to the other party so that they “buy into it” and don’t feel forced into action, and using appropriate energy levels that attracts but doesn’t repel others. She ends this section with a helpful list of gestures and mannerisms the communicator can work on to be more effective when making presentations.

This book is easy to read. In her writing and presentation, Ms. Dieken successfully uses the Connect-Convey-Convince® method (yes, she even has it trademarked) to get across her message. Although the book mostly focuses on face-to-face presentations, some of what she writes about can also be applied to the written word.