Johnny Reb, Billy Yank, Sartre & attracting the opposite sex

I’m back safe and sound at home, well above the Mason Dixon Line, in the land of Billy Yank. Sometimes I wonder what I’m doing up here—I’m a native southerner who really loves the desert mountains of the Intermountain West. But for now, this is home. In some ways, it’s like a lot of small towns down South. There’s even a Civil War monument that until 30 years ago sat in the middle of the town’s Main Street. It looks a lot like those monuments honoring Johnny Reb down south. You have to read the fine print or look at their belt buckle (USA or CSA) to tell the difference. The only other difference between this guy and those guys who stand quietly on the courthouse lawns down south is that his side won. Actually, the real winner was the company who made the granite sculpture. They got to sell the same monuments to both sides. Tiffany, the stained-glass people, did the same thing Pittsburgh. In one of the big churches near the University of Pittsburgh is a beautiful window of Jesus praying in the garden. Right down the street in a Jewish synagogue is the same window, only the caption has changed. There, he's Moses praying on the mountain.

While in the gym the other day, I read an article in the New Yorker titled: "Stand By Your Man: The Strange Liaison of Sartre and Beauvoir," (September 26, 2005). Those two had a unique relationship. Sartre, the older of the two, was just 5 foot tall and blind in the right eye. According to the article, he dressed in oversized clothes without a sense of fashion and had a disregard for hygiene (including brushing his teeth). Beauvoir was younger and very attractive. The two had a strange open relationship, that’s described in the article. Sartre, an ugly guy, was once asked about his attraction to women:

"First of all, there is the physical element. There are of course ugly women, but I prefer those who are pretty. Then there is the fact that they (women) are oppressed, so they seldom bore you with shop talk.. I enjoy being with a woman because I’m bored out of my mind when I have to converse in the realm of ideas."

Now, could some of you more enlightened folks tell me how this ugly and condensing jerk seduced so many women? I read a couple of Sartre’s work in college and did particular like him then. After reading this article, I like him even less—or maybe I’m just jealous of his ability to overcome bad breath as he charm women.

For those looking to impress members of the opposite sex, this came out the mouth of my daughter's friend, as the two of them were discussing a boy at their school (they’re in the 2nd Grade): "You got to love a boy who does cartwheels in K-Mart."