Thursday, December 29, 2005

The Magic of Mistletoe

Lifestyle reporting by Nevada Jack

There’s something about the way southern gals kiss. They can get all mushy, warm and passionate as they close their eyes and pucker up their lips. Therefore, for the good of the rest of the human race, I determined to discover the reason. My hunch is that Southerners have more practice than their Yankee counter-parts. During the holidays, mistletoe adorns the top of doorframes of so many southern homes, that it provides plenty of excuses for women to get romantic with their lesser halves. Up north, the only mistletoe I’ve seen is plastic or imported in and all wilted. Neither is as potent as fresh mistletoe. Could you imagine a Roman poet wax about the erotic qualities of plastic mistletoe purchased at Wal-Mart?

From what I’ve seen, driving throughout Eastern North Carolina, this year’s mistletoe crop is a hardy one. The parasite is most often found in swampy hardwood bottomlands, where it grows between folks of branches in the upper portion of the trees. Although the trees are now barren for winter, some have so many clumps of mistletoe that tree appears to be an evergreen. Harvesting mistletoe is difficult. You first have to find your way out into the swamps which are often filled with water, then have to climb a tree and cut off a branch, unless of course you want to cut down the tree, which isn’t very good stewardship of our natural resources. Another option is a shotgun. Using #8 birdshot, you aim your shot at the base of a clump of mistletoe will lead to a showering of sprigs. Unfortunately the white berries, which add a nice contrast to the dark green, often don’t survive this harsh way of harvesting. Yet, this isn’t a terrible loss if you have small people around, as the berries are poisonous.

I had hoped to bring some mistletoe back with me to demonstrate it’s power to unsuspecting women up north, but I’ve spent too much time sitting around and am no longer good at climbing trees and scurrying out on branches. Furthermore, the idea of shotguns gives me the willies, as hunters tramping through the swamps down east have been known to use them to pellet the hides of my cousins with #2 buckshot. And besides, for most people, Christmas is over and to surprise them with a sprig of mistletoe now might get me a slap in my furry face. But there’s always next year. Who knows, with all those silly Christmas songs being introduced, maybe someone will sing one that goes, "I saw mommy smooching Nevada Jack underneath the mistletoe last night…" I know it don't exactly rhyme, but give me a break. Us bears aren't know for our musical ability.

16 comments:

  1. I have noticed a lot of mistletoe right here in the big city this year.

    Regarding the Pinehurst matchbook: oneof my kids lives nearby there, and one of my former neighbors moved there 1 year ago. I love it -and my husband would like to move there someday. I don't play golf, and neither does he really, but we love the look of that area.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Maybe it does sometimes get too cold up north to kiss. But truthfully (grew up in Mass), mistletoe was a thing I didn't frequently see at Christmastime. Now holly was another matter. We could pick it wild, but no such sweet association with it.

    Funny how the context can change in the matter of a day or so. No getting away with kissing under it now.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I never new mistletoe was so tough to get! Hope it all works out for you and have a VERY Happy New Year!
    Peace..........

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hey thanks for visiting me..the Bucs are football LOL..TTYL

    ReplyDelete
  5. Yep..those southern gals get into it.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hey Nevada Jack, yesterday I saw one of your cousins drinking water out of a stream beside a interstate highway in Randolph County, N.C. Maybe you oughta tell them to find a hidey-hole a little farther back in the woods!

    ReplyDelete
  7. There was always plenty of mistletoe close to wear I grew up in Mississippi. It was great fun collecting it...and even greater fun putting it to use. lol

    Here via Michele.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Yes we Southern girls are special, I living right on the Southern Va border into NC have tons of Mistletoe in the woods surrounding the house...and a big clump over the kitchen door. Michele sent me tonight.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Thanks for visiting my site....I liked your highlights of your world...especially watching your daughter grow. Southern Women are special and it has nothing to do with mistletoe! Lazy Daisy

    ReplyDelete
  10. Love your take on mistletoe! Like I've mentioned before, I've never found myself under any...perhaps that's because I live in MN! I can honestly say, I've only seen the plastic kind! Funny, maybe you should get into the import business? Importing the "real stuff" to the north? Just an idea. Happy New Year to you both (Sage and Nevada Jack)!

    ReplyDelete
  11. That's a great mistletoe post.

    Happy New Year. Michele sent me this way.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Nice post, Sage :-)

    Although I don't usually need mistletoe [wink]

    cq
    Here via Michele

    ReplyDelete
  13. I alway's had fun shooting down Mistletoe. It would be a litle more fun if it ran around the tree, but, stil getting a good peice of it can be a chalenge. Happy New Years, Sage.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Excuses, excuses, Sage. :-)

    Happy New Year!

    ReplyDelete