Saturday, January 23, 2010

Wildlife in North Carolina (On how to outsmart a fish and a "What?" for a canteen)

I grew up with Wildlife in North Carolina. It’s a fine magazine published by the folks of the North Carolina Wildlife Resources Commission, the same group that commissions the guys that check your fishing license and deer tags. We had a subscription to it as far back as I remember and when I moved out on my own, I started subscribing myself. I think it was $4 a year to subscribe back then, or $10 for three years. Somewhere along the way, I let my subscription slide. After all, next year it’ll be a quarter of a century since I lived in the state and in one of those lean years, it fell to some pencil sharpening and budget cuts. Now, when I return to my parent's home, one of the first things I do is to find my dad’s stash of the magazine and scan through them. I'll pull out a few issues with interesting looking articles. When I was home a few weeks ago, I found the December 2009 issue to be an interesting one. A number of articles caught my attention.
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In “The Truthfulness Problem,” Bruce Ingram sets out to explode many myths that sportsmen and women take for granted and pass on to others. Now why did he want to go do that? The myth that hurt was of the intelligence of fish. Quoting a recent article in Fly Fisherman magazine, he suggested that trout have an average IQ of 6. I suppose the good news here is that we will not have to worry about trout taking over Mensa International anytime soon. Of course, I’m going to rethink my fishing tales, especially discussing my tactics for outsmarting an animal with only marginal more intelligence than a chair. Such feats no longer seem to be something worth bragging about.
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In another article, “Surviving Carolina” T. Edward Nickens prepares us for an unintended stay in the wilderness. Having spent more than a few nights in the wilderness, I decided to study his helpful hints and learned how to use a bullet, a 9 volt battery and an outboard motor to get a spark for a fire. He also makes suggestions for good tinder such a duct tape or pieces of an old inner tube. I can’t imagine using an inner tube to start a fire. He does warn that the tube will burn with a rank and smoky flame, but it will help dry some better wood allowing you to build a real fire. Another fire building tip involves a beer can and gasoline, which seems to me to have the potential to become a bomb. Isn’t that what the Polish underground used on the Germans in 1944? But the thing that really shocked me is the contents of his “supercharged” (his words) survival kit. Along with trick candles (they won’t blow out) and bailing wire, Nickens tosses in a handful of unlubricated condoms. “The best emergency canteen made,” Nickens’ boasts. I swear, I’m not making this up! I am not that creative. Nickens must be a high-priced lawyer as he sure can think fast on his feet. I can see it now, his wife attempting to slip a love note into his backpack as it sits waiting for his next adventure… and she accidentally discovers the contents of his “supercharged’ survival kit. Confronted by a hysterical spouse, a red-faced Nickens comes up with the perfect excuse! I found myself wondering if he wasn’t planning an Appalachian Trail hike with his friend, the governor of South Carolina. In fact, I thought this article must have been written with the lesser of the Carolinas in mind.
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The magazine is still a good deal. It’s only $12 a year (a buck an issue) or $30 for 3 years. Click here to learn how you can support my home state. But with my Scottish blood, I think I’ll just read my Dad’s copies when I’m home.

11 comments:

  1. During one of the World Wars, condoms were used to keep the mouth of a firearm clear of muck and keeping matches dry. You can do the thing with the everlasting candle yourself by punching holes in a Coke can. By why would you need to do it in the first place

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  2. I might enjoy them, but I think I'll just read your post about them....lol

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  3. If I had a bullet, 9 volt battery, outboard motor, inner tube, duct tape, beer can and gasoline, I think I would have remembered to bring the matches along too. Good lord, I would hate to see the weight of his backpack.

    Personally, I just take strike anywhere matches in a small waterproof container and call it good. I've never failed with them. If I were worried beyond that, I would go for vaseline impregnated cotton balls in a small waterproof container. Never had to resort to that myself but I've heard they burn like blowtorches.

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  4. This is a funny post, Sage! Albeit replete w/useful survival-in-the-wilderness info. I'm not sure how I'd do were I to find myself lost in the woods at night. ...so, I suppose, it's a good thing that I live in the big city. Although, I'm not altogether certain it's not more dangerous to be lost in the city at night. In fact, I'm pretty sure it is...

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  5. Field and Stream was one of my favorite mags growing up. It didn't focus on just Arkansas, of course, but I liked reading about different countrysides.

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  6. Vince, I can see it used to cover the muzzle of a weapon--if you needed to fire quickly, you wouldn't even have to take it off. The canteen is a stretch

    Kenju, to be put out by a state wildlife organization, it's a good one, even though I found myself shaking my head at the survival article

    Ed, the article wasn't just for backpackers... When I was writing this last night I wondered if there might be a place for another kind of lubricant in fire building...

    Stephanie, There are many places on the Southside that I know I'd take the most inhospitable wilderness over!

    Charles, Field and Stream was a good magazine and in their history they had some pretty good writers.

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  7. Our Department of Conservation puts out a similar magazine, although its about all state conservation issues, from forestry, wetlands and prairies to wildlife. It's great and the best thing is it's free to state residents. (Only 12 buck or so for out of state.) I read it religiously and have been meaning to blog about it too.

    Thanks for the kick in the pants.

    Cheers.

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  8. I have a friend here who writes regularly for Arizona Highways. These often overlooked periodicals are filled with gems such as the ones you've mentioned and shared with us here, Sage! Thanks!!!:)

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  9. As much as I love the idea of hiking the Appalachian Trail, I'm afraid any stay in the wilderness (for me) would be unintended. I should probably read "Surviving Carolina" just in case...or I could always wait around for YOUR book!

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  10. Randall, a few magazine? Wow! I'll look forward to your post.

    Michael, Arizona Highway would be a wonderful magazine to write for!

    Ily, I'm not sure my book is going to be a survival handbook! :)

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  11. Sage, this would be the perfect magazine for McGyver, don't you think?. ;))
    I enjoyed reading this post. There's a lot of survival tips and many ressources.

    In the meantime i can hear "Carolina in my mind".

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