An Interlude: Engineer Jokes

I've tried several times to post a picture here, one of mountain laurel blooming on the Appalachian Trail, but blogger just don't seem to like me and my pictures today.

It’s a nice spring day, but if it’s like the last couple it won’t stay this way. By the afternoon, my head will be pounding as my sinuses react to the pollen in the air. Sometimes spring can be a much more beautiful season in pictures than real life! I need to finish up some posts, but in the interlude, thought I’d post a few engineer jokes in honor of Ed Abbey who admitted in a comment on my previous post that he watches wrecks in stock car races to see how the cars hold up and, most of the time, keep the drivers safe. So enjoy…


A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were sentenced to be executed by the guillotine. The executioner asked who wanted to go first and the priest volunteered. Then he was asked if he wanted to be placed faced down toward the ground or faced up looking toward the knife. As a devout man who had done much good all his life and who had great faith, he said, I want to look up toward heaven. The executioner consented. He was placed in the machine and the lever pulled and the knife came slicing down only to get stuck right above his neck. Everyone thought it was a sign from God and they let the priest go.

The doctor volunteered to go next and said he too wanted to look toward heaven. Again, he was placed in the machine, the lever was pulled and the knife came slicing down only to get stuck right above his neck. Again, everyone assumed it was God’s intervention and he was set free.

The last person that day to face the guillotine was the engineer. He too said that he’d like to look up toward heaven and was placed in the machine in such a manner. Then, right before they pulled the lever he said, “Hey, I think I see your problem…”
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Three engineers and three lawyers were taking a train to a convention. The engineers each brought a ticket, but only one of the lawyers brought a ticket. This shocked the engineers and they asked how they were going to get a seat without a ticket. "Don’t worry, we’ll show you," the lawyers said. As they got into their car, the three lawyers all piled into the same bathroom. When the conductor came by, he rapped on the door asking, “Ticket please.” One of the lawyers slipped his hand out and handed him the ticket. It was punched and after the conductor made his way through the car, they left the bathroom and two of the lawyers went up to the lounge car to ride out the trip.

Thinking this was pretty neat; the engineers decided they’d just buy one ticket between the three of them on their way home. But this time they were even more surprised when the lawyers didn’t buy any tickets. They all got on the train and immediately the three engineers got into one bathroom and the three lawyers into another. The one of the lawyers left the bathroom and knocked on the engineer’s bathroom door, saying, “Ticket please.”