|Nevada Jack Reporting|
Recent reports on a Dutch company with over 200,000 applicants to be the first humans to settle (and die) on Mars caught my attention. According to reports, the first humans could arrive on the red planet in 2025, but it may be later, as the same report admitted they are about five years behind. Funding for the project is a secretive, but it appears the company expects to raise most of the needed funds on the ultimate survivor show. After all, what does some remote South Sea island have over Mars beyond water and air, bananas and coconuts? I’m sure a small amount of the money will come from the personal accounts of those flying off to Mars, for as soon as they leave the atmosphere, their folding money, stock portfolios and ATM cards will be useless.
Sage has been running around the country like a chicken without a head and ignoring his blog. With time on my hands, I decided it was time to do some investigative reporting and to figure out just what kind of person would sign up for a one-way trip to the fourth planet. After some digging and fancy statistical work, this is what I learned
- 50% Applicants unknowingly signed up by disgruntled spouses or significant others
- 10% Signed up to get away from a spouse or significant other
- 5% Dopey Dutch citizens who figure this is the ultimate high
- 5% Dutch citizens who thought Mars was an abbreviation for Martinique, a nice moist island not far from the equator
- 20% Women who want to go to the planet from where men supposedly originate
- 4% Men who think it’s a chance to go home
- 3% Dutch citizens who figure global warming leaves them with no other option
- 2% Floridians who feel the same way
- 1% People who thought they were entering a contest for a life-time supply of Mars candy bars.
This applicant pool doesn't exactly rise to the brainpower found in traditional groupings of Astronauts and Cosmonauts, which is why I suggest these modern day pioneers be called Martian-nuts. The success of such a mission is highly questionable, but those on the earth will be rewarded with a richer gene pool. Maybe Mars Candy can get in on the profits and start a new line of candy bars.
Check out the latest photo that Sage sent from his cell phone. The dude is stuck on a prop-plane. I hope he remembered his ear plugs…
|Like Sage, I can't always get the picture turned right on Blogger|
Just turn your computer screen 90 degrees to the left