Some folks just got to have something to complain about. Baseball season isn’t even yet here and people are already complaining about Jim Leyland, the new manager for the Detroit Tigers. The Tigers are a franchise that has set the wrong kind of records over the past decade or so. They’re a perennial favorite for the cellar. Even Tony the Tiger of Frosted Flakes fame is more feared than the Detroit Tigers. Leyland had to do something to shake things up getting ready for this year so he encouraged his team to get some pizzazz, complaining that they smell like "Old Spice."
In the spirit of fairness, I should disclose that I’m not exactly an apologist for the after-shave industry. I’m approaching two decades since I’ve needed any such products and even then didn’t particularly care for the smell. I preferred to go natural. The only bottle of Old Spice I’ve owned was a gift from some well-meaning relative for graduating from high school. If I’d know that was the prize, I wouldn’t have studied so hard. Come to think of it, I didn’t study very hard, but received this nice gift set none-the-less. There were two cream colored bottles in a nice box. One bottle contained after-shave and the other cologne. I don’t remember what happened to those bottles, but I’m sure they were discarded before they were emptied. The only bottle of Old Spice that I came close to emptying belonged to my grandfather. I was about ten years old and in my youth and naivete, thought the stuff made me smell manly. Using such flawed logic, I assumed the more I used, the more manly I would smell. I don’t think I had to say "excuse me" once that day, as people just opened up a path for me to walk through. It was the closest experience to royalty I had until last November when I got to pet the "first-dog elect" of Honduras.
Back to Leyland’s comments about Old Spice. Michigan’s Old Spice fans couldn’t believe their ears. Was the Tiger’s Skipper, known for his terrible smoker's breath, saying that Old Spice was feminine? Is there something wrong with this after-shave that lures pretty women to sailors as they walk off the docks? Well, yeah, cause he ain't in charge of Merchant Marine morale nor does he want a fancy smelling team who can whistle a tune. Instead, he wants a team that stinks up the locker room after playing hard and beating their opponents. And if I’m going to become a Tiger fan, that’s what I want too. Otherwise, I’ll just go on living in a fantasy world, reliving the days when Jim Leyland managed the Pirates and took Pittsburgh to the National League finals for three straight years. Yeah, those were the good old days.
In case any of you wondered where I've been--we went on the road for a few days, taking my beloved daughter on a birthday trip to an INDOOR waterpark. It was an exchange to keep from having another party this year, so instead of three hours, it cost three days and no telling how much in greenbacks. But I’m back and waterlogged and tired, but had a blast. I read about this on Thursday (I think this link will only be active for 14 days) and wrote my response last night in the hotel after everyone crashed.