Saturday, May 28, 2005

A Warning for Viagara Users: The True Story

There is a rare type of blindness reported by users of Viagara and similar drugs. The following press release came out yesterday:

Since only a handful of the millions of men who have used these drugs have experienced total blindness, the drug companies brush off this threat and insist their drugs are safe. What the drug makers don’t tell us is that impotent relieving drugs (IRDs) create less serious problems with vision.

Many on Viagara have reported temporary loss of sight. These symptoms are common. At night, all pumped up on the drug, a man meets what appears to the most beautiful woman. In the morning he discovers otherwise. This situation is especially common when alcohol is combined with IRDs.

Then there are the incidents of short-sightedness. This syndrome is especially prevalent among married men whose sex drive is much greater than their wives. Seeking relief, a man finds it to be a short-sighted solution as his wife and her attorney enjoy their day in court.

And probably the most disturbing problems with IRDs is that they tend blur one’s political sight. One begins to see Bob Dole as appealing. After following his suggestion for Viagara, the man starts listening to Dole and friends political suggestions. There’s a conspiracy here! Maybe it's the drug companies that are behind the Republican take-over of America. With Republicans in control of the FDA, we’ll never hear about the real dangers of IRDs. What the Republicans over at the FDA don’t want you to know is Real Men are in the Democratic Party. After all, Bill Clinton never needed IRDs.

I must have too much free time...

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