Monday, June 04, 2007

A Week Long Virtual Birthday Party for Murf!

Sage has already been a part of one American Girl Spa Birthday party this year. Since he’s out of town for a week, I decided I throw another one—for Murf who turns 30-something this Friday. The only difference between Murf’s party and the one that Sage’s daughter enjoyed is that Murf’s party is virtual, like the one he threw for Kevin and Diane. Well, there’s one other difference, at Murf’s party, the host is also absent. Instead of staying around an catering to everyone needs, Sage is off doing something like taking a nap by a mountain brook while I, Nevada Jack, get to watch over things and serve as bouncer…

Our guest of honor for today is the one getting married in black at a ceremony officiated by a dead rock star at America's Adult Disney World--Las Vegas (I hear Sage might be out there early next month… wonder why he always leaves me behind?) Out of consideration for her increased age, I decided to use a larger than normal font... This Friday, June 8th is the official day.

I hope you brought your doll. If you forgot yours, borrow one from Sage’s daughter’s collection. Don’t worry, she won’t miss them, this is only about a 1/3 of her collection.

With doll in hand, come on in and enjoy the party. First we’ll have a skin treatment. We’ll lather up your face with yogurt and oatmeal, putting sliced cucumbers on your eyes to keep the yogurt out. Lean your head back and bask in the experience.

When you’re finished, we’ll let the dog will lick off the yogurt and ask you to please wipe off the cukes so we can serve them later in the relish tray.
At your second stop we’ll let your feet soak in salty water while your nails are painted. Since Sage is not present, I’ll even let you use those tacky decals girls like to put on their nails these days. Sage thinks they’re tacky on little girls and down right gaudy on women, but hey, he ain’t here and as a bear, I don’t care.

Next stop in our virtual party is at the hair salon. Here, you can have your hair and your dolls hair all fixed up. Well, you could have all that done, but since Murf, the guest of honor, recently went in for the butch look, we sent the stylist home early. So instead, those from the state of Michigan (Murf and Karen and anyone else who happens along) take the towel you used to dry your feet and head over to the mourning corner and cry your eyes out for your beloved Pistons who threw a rod the other evening.

Now that you’ve received your spa treatment, I’m sure you’re hungry. While Tim and I get out the cake and ice cream, help yourself to some healthy vegetable slices. I’m sure the cucumbers will be a big hit. Now here comes Tim (Happy Belated Birthday Tim!) with the cake he baked.

Nevada Jack is now serving some of Sage’s ice cream. Eat up!

Recipe for Sage’s Old Fashioned “Salmonella Enhanced” Ice Cream

Mix together: 1 can sweetened condensed milk
-4 eggs
-2 ½ cups of sugar
-2 ½ tablespoons of vanilla
-Dash of salt

Put into ice cream freezer and add whole milk to the fill line.

Pack freezer with ice mixed with plenty of salt and crank till you can’t crank anymore

This use to be Sage’s main ice cream recipe, but he stopped using it after all the warnings about eating raw eggs came out. But since he’s not really at this party, Sage encourages you to “eat up”! And just in case, he wants me to remind you that there’s a bathroom down the hall and to the right.

Y’all have fun and don’t trash the place and pick up after yourselves, okay. Happy birthday Murf!


  1. Thanks, Nevada Jack. Sage couldn't have done a better job. I won't get upset at your use of 'butch' since I know you like your women covered in hair. I believe that is the one thing you have in common with Sage, isn't it? :-)

  2. Oh boy, I love salmonella ice cream with my birthday cake.

  3. Sounds like one heck of a party! count me in!

  4. So Murf's a real person? I always thought Sage just posted those comments himself :)

    And raw eggs never hurt Rocky. Well, unless that's the reason he talks like he does... hmm.

  5. Bone, are you saying I am Sage-like? Ouch! Just for the record, I am WAY less hairy. :-)

  6. I finally got a chance to check in--not spending much time at all online here--but wanted to say thanks for you all for stopping by.

    Murf, You got that right!

    Desert Rat, did you get the runs?

    Diane, glad you stopped by

    Bone, do you think I'm creative enough to make up her comments?

    Kevin & Karen, thanks for stopping by

  7. I am WAY less hairy.

    That's very good to know :) Happy birthday, Murf.

  8. Oh my god, I laughed so much when you said you were using the bigger font!

  9. Happy Early Birthday to Murf.

    This was my kind of party. Salmonella and tacky fingernail decals is all a girl could ask for! I've never had either (thank God)

    (funny funny post dude!)