Thursday, October 20, 2005

Organizations Unite to Challenge American Girl

Politically incorrect reporting by Nevada Jack


"Politics makes strange bedfellows," the old cliché goes. The truth of the adage is once again seen as forces unite to bring down the American Girl (AG) enterprise. Earlier this week, Don Wildmon, president of the Mississippi-based American Family Association (AFA), called on AG to stop supporting Girl’s Inc (GI), an organization that primarily serves low-income girls, many from an African-American or Hispanic backgrounds. Wildmon accused Girl’s Inc of supporting abortion rights, promoting lesbianism, and encouraging barefoot pregnant wives to put on shoes, work outside the home and demand the same pay for the same work as men.

American Girl is a toy company that sells dolls, with accessories, depicting time periods of American history. In addition to marketing dolls, they publish books about the experiences of the character each doll represents. The American Girl Place stores even offer teas, dinners and other "experiences" for the young girls who drool over their dolls.

Joining the AFA, is the Chicago-based Pro-Life Action League, who are currently threatening a boycott of America Girl and are suggesting that if AG doesn’t quickly mend its ways, they’ll set up boycotts of it’s store along Chicago’s famous Miracle Mile.

Joyce Royce, president of Girl’s Inc, is dumbfounded by the threats of a boycott. "GI’s mission is to help girls "dream big," she proclaimed. "American Girl has specifically supported three of our programs: science and math skills, leadership development, and physical fitness. I don’t know why Mr. Wildmon’s panties are in such a wad."

AFA later issued a statement denying that Mr. Wildmon wears panties, revealing his underwear of choice is Fruit of the Loom silk boxers.

Yesterday, the attacks on American Girl heightened as a new and previously unheard of group called for a national boycott. Jimbo Smith, recently elected president of Dad’s for a Balanced Budget (DABB), said he’s yet to understand why his wife and daughters buy American Girls dolls for 80 to a 100 bucks, with a couple hundred more thrown in for outfits and accessories. "Hell, they can buy a similar doll, probably made in the same Chinese sweat-shop, for 8 to 10 bucks at Walmart! Women go in there and lose all sense of proportion. My wife and daughter spent more outfitting Molly than they did outfitting my daughter for school," he charged at the DABB’s news conference. "And besides," he continued, "the money they’re spending in AG could be used to buy gas for my bass boat!"

Rightwing Hamilton, a DABBs supporter, said that he believed change must start at home. While his wife and daughters were inside AG, running up a world-record American Express bill, he addressed the crowd of men who had gathered for the DABBs boycott kickoff. "The problem with this nation is that there are no balanced budgets. How in the hell am I to balance my budget when the women folk in my house spend as much as a mortgage payment on a trip to AG. I mean, dolls and necessary accessories for each of my girls, high teas and a dinner that cost more than dining at the Country Club, it adds up. We could afford Bush's splendid little war in Iraq if we were spending so much on dolls. Balance budgeting needs to start at home, he shouted to the applause of the crowd." Rightwing was last seen making his way up Michigan Avenue, totting bags and boxes and listening to his wife and daughters tales of their day at AG.

Betsy Ross Rich, president of AG, announced a strategy to contain the DABB’s threat. This organization was developed by a group of men loitering in front of the AG storefront, waiting for their wives and daughters. We plan to open a sport’s bar called "DAD’S," right next door, so that these disgruntle dads can drown their sorry in suds as they watch ESPN or some fishing show on the Outdoor Network. When asked about the danger of drinking and driving, she noted that nobody could afford the parking to drive into this part of Chicago anymore. "Their wives can help them down the subway stairs," she suggested. Ms. Rich also dismissed Mr. Wildmon’s threat as nothing but hot air. We’re about as patriot and wholesome as you can get," she said. "We even edit history to cut out the juicy part, like why our little slave doll Addy’s skin is lighter than her mom’s. And we didn’t mention the whippin’ her Daddy got from his benevolent Mississippi master."

Even Mrs. Wildmon seemed unimpressed with her husband’s threats. Leaving the Chicago store with granddaughters in tow, she was heard quipping, "Don needs a hobby or something."

Nevada Jack didn’t have time to check out all the quotes here and has to file this post and run. His daughter just informed him that Samantha (one of her seven AG dolls) has a bum hip and needs to go to the AG hospital. Nevada Jack has to find an appropriate size box and get to the Post Office before it closes. Maybe, if his publisher offers overtime, he’ll check up on AFA, AG, GI, and DABB and get all the BULL.

11 comments:

  1. This reads like something from The Onion. I like.

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  2. OH MY GOD. This pisses me off so much that I want to go out and buy a thousand of those dolls (which my daughter absolutely LOVED when she was little, btw).

    These people really need their heads examined.

    Here via michele! I don't think I've been here before, so I'm going to poke around a bit. Right now I've got to get out of bed and go to work! I'll be back, for SURE.

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  3. I may be unpopular here, but I lean towards AFA and DABB in support of the boycott....

    To me that sounds ridiculous to spend that kind of money on a fad and especially if they are pushing or supporting an agenda as described above. That is if Wildon's accusations are correct!

    Humm....

    Don't be late for the P.O. (smiling)

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  4. I would take these American Girls over those whore-ish Bratz any day though. I don't have a daughter (yet) but if they are still around when that day comes, I don't want to have to explain what D.S.L's are thanks to those dolls. :-)

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  5. Ok, I don't know the Bratz's dolls.

    I do find AG's prices to be outlandish, but I really am envious of their marketing guru--selling not just dolls but accessories and books with stories and tea parties, etc... She or he is a genius.

    I've read more than my share of the books to my daughter. I just thank God for grandparents who have brought most of the dolls.

    So far, Wildmon hasn't called for a boycott. Personally, since AG support of Girl Inc was for stuff like science education, I think it would be a little much to do that. Personally, I find him a bit of a grandstander and that's what he's doing here. If you attack someone like American Girl, you'll find yourself quoted in the media. (if you link on the title, it'll take you to the Yahoo News article about this).

    As far as Wildmon wearing panties--that's all made up, but it seems like an appropriate cliche for an overly anal man--at least since J. Edgar Hoover's time.

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  6. since i doubt any of you actually know don wildmon personally think about the judgements you are making about someone you do not know.

    i do happen to know him and know that many are incorrect in their assumptions. granted he is vocal and stands for his values. he has created an organization that is controversial due to its stance. i do not pretend to agree with everything, but doesn't it make sense that if an organization that AFA has supported begins taking support from an organization that is in direct opposition to what AFA stands for that AFA should say something and not continue to support someone that is not in line with their values? that is the beauty of free speech. everyone has it. even the outspoken ones like don wildmon and randy sharpe (who was actually the AFA spokesman for this.) imo, in this capacity, it would be a very negative action to support someone who is in direct opposition to my beliefs.

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  7. Wow, I must have touched some nerves for this has gotten serious. It seems that there are two camps here--supporters of AG and of AFA. In a way, I was taking on both (as well as taking on the parents--including myself--who spend a fortune on these toys). By taking on all sides, I suppose I'm in no-man's land, getting shot from all sides.

    No Kontan, I don't know Don Wildmon, although I use to get the AFA newsletter. I personally agree with many of their stands But I found myself disagreeing with the way AFA presented themselves-it seemed to me that they were too black and white with little humility.

    A little more about my post. First of all, this is satire or parody--it's suppose to be funny and to help us lighten up (but I'm wondering if anyone is laughing at this). Secondly, as you laugh, the purpose of satire is to see our own shortcomings and how we all fail to live up to the standards we expect from ourselves or of others.

    The more self-righteous anyone is, the easier it is for a satirist to taken 'em on.

    For the record, I am pro-life in a broader sense than AFA (which means I'm against abortion and capital punishment). I also don't think AG or anyone should encouraging lesbanism (or even talking about it with the age-group their dolls are marketed), but from what I read, AG wasn't doing this, they were supporting a program of Girl Inc that helped low-income girls do better in life.

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  8. Hello, Michele sent me! I don't think panties would be very comfortable, at least not women's panties. Briefs, too -- too constricting. I've never tried the silk boxers; I think all of mine are cotton.

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  9. "But I found myself disagreeing with the way AFA presented themselves-it seemed to me that they were too black and white with little humility."

    that is my stance as well.

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  10. I like American Girl Dolls I Won't Say My Age But I Am Young, Women Don't Get Alot Of Credit From The Meidia, Somtimes We Might Look Though Text Books And Not See Great Vewiws On Women But The American Girl Books Zooms In On What The Girls Did! Thats Why I Love Them! I Have Two From Christmas Gifts And I Have Been Saving Up For An Other One For Forever! Girls Do Not Drool Over Dolls And Plus American Girl Dolls Dont Have A 2Cenemeter Waist There Avrage Normal Like. American Girl Company Invents Lots Of Ways To Make Girls Feel Okay With Being Girls.

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  11. i agree with the child who left an anonymous comment on february 28. yes the dolls are overpriced and seem stupid and not worth all the money, but it is all worth it when you see the look on a child's face when they hold their dolls for the first time. the girls do have historically accurate stories that go along with certain time periods. yes, addie was a former slave, but they wrote her stories because "as shocking as it is", it really did happen. the addie stories show how she overcame her old lifestyle and built it up for a better one. all of the other girls stories are also touching and accurate, whether you want to believe it or not. if you dont want to spend your gas money on these dolls then dont. but these girls are more than just overpriced dolls to some children, so please dont be so harsh on people who support the american girl.

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