Sunday, October 16, 2005

Al Qaeda Barber to the Rich and Famous Nabbed

Politically Incorrect Reporting by Nevada Jack

In an effort to show progress in the war in Iraq, a spokesman for the United States military announced today that al Quada’s barber, Walid Mohammed Farhan Juwar al-Zubaydi, was taken into custody late last week. This was first reported by Yahoo News. "Walid Mohammed’s capture wouldn’t be possible without the assistance of the Iraqi people," according to Major Flagg, chief spokesman for the 3rd Spokesmen Corps, U. S. Third Army. "The joint operation involved the United States and the Iraqi Army with cooperation from key members of the Iraqi Barber Union. The only clue we had was his name, but do you know how many Mohammed barbers there are in Bagdad alone," Major Flagg pointed out.

President Bush, in his Saturday radio address, referred to this cooperation as further signs that we are winning the war for the hearts and the minds of the Iraqi people.

Sadir Mohammed, president of IBU (Iraqi Barbers Union) local #386 was quick to shrug off Bush’s claims. "We didn’t do this because our hearts and minds have been won over," he said. "We cooperated because we wanted Walid Mohammed off the streets." Shouting and shaking his fist, he continued. "Have you seen those al Qaeda hairstyles? Have you seen the rat’s nest they call a beard? This guy was bad for business. He was breaking the Union. He should have been arrested long ago for impersonating a barber"

Supposedly Walid Mohammed’s, al Qaeda’s barber to the rich and famous, role was to conceal al Qaeda leaders wanted by the authorities by providing them with new ‘do’s.

The CIA had recently tried to infiltrate al Quada with a barber of the their own choosing. Madir Mohammed, who went by the name Danny Joe, ran a small styling salon in New York City’s Greenwich Village. He was recruit by the Agency and sent back to his native Iraq. The plan was for Danny Joe to work his way up in the organization. When he got to the top, he was to give Bin Ladin a real close shave. However, the undercover operation unraveled when Danny Joe teased Omar Mohammed, calling him a sweetheart while shampooing his hair. Omar dealt out quick punishment as authorized in the Koran. Reflecting on the loss of such a promising agent, Mr. Gman, the CIA’s top chief in Iraq, noted that it’s just not safe to come out of the closet in Iraq.

In unrelated news, if the Steelers don’t soon get their act together, they may find themselves the target of Nevada Jack’s pen.

9 comments:

  1. The hubby, a fellow Steelers lover, is disgruntled as well.

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  2. I was at first unhappy about returning from my vacation to Savannah, but this was funny enough to make me glad I'm back in front of a computer.

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  3. I don't pay attention to the steelers...hope you had a good weekend...Michele sent me!

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  4. Thanks for commenting on my blog lately! I have been reading yours, just hadn't posted a comment yet. Love the story about coming out of the closet in Iraq!

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  5. the real news never make mainstream media, thanks for keeping us informed! haha, is this a bad time to say go jags?

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  6. He had a point about those hairstyles. Try having a "high and Tight in the 80's everyone stared at you.

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  7. Anyone with a half brain or decent "do" - I would not think would want to peep their HEADS out of the closet in Iraq!!

    It is surprising the CIA did not do an extensive background check on the stylist from Greenwich! duh!

    Great post, I did not know about the extra details behind this operation just the capture.

    Perhaps better luck next week! (smiling)

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  8. Suzie, maybe the CIA will learn a lesson... But I'm sure the problem had something to do with them being unable to spy in the US and having to depend upon the FBI to do the background check--and the FBI agent in charge decided this was one way to rid the nation of another undesirable...

    If you ever need to know the details of a news story--I often have inside information and if I don't, I just make it up as I go along.

    As for the Steelers--it's amazing they even got the game into OT. Their best offense seemed to be Jaxs penalties

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